Our Sympathy

For those who believe in burial as opposed to cremation, they feel that this ritual demonstrates respect for the human body. They also believe that the body should be allowed to decay by a normal process instead of the hastening which occurs during cremation.

It is also believed that since we are no longer allowed to burn leaves which pollute our environment with fossil fuels, that the burning of bodies releases a number of pollutants into our atmosphere. These include carbon dioxide, nitrogen oxide, sulfur dioxide and hydrogen chloride.

Some cultures have wakes for the departed whereby family and friends come together to pay their last respects. Traditional Irish wakes are occasions for food, drink and music where grief for the passing of the deceased is mixed with a hearty send-off to the next world.

The ritual of burial is an opportunity for family and friends to say a last goodbye to their loved one. After the funeral, they will then often gather at the home of a family member where food and drink is served. This provides a further opportunity for the sharing of grief and mutual consolation of the bereaved.

Having a place to go to visit the departed provides solace to many loved ones. A burial site provides a tangible link to the deceased. Some cultures have a specific day when the families go to the grave sites, picnic and clean the family burial plot.

In Mexico, the Day of the Dead is a national holiday celebrated on November 1 and 2. Family reunions are held in cemeteries while coats of paint and structural repairs are made to grave sites. Fresh flowers, candles, candy, food and drink are put on the graves as gifts to the deceased where a party atmosphere prevails. Some families even hire mariachi bands.

The practice of cremation dates back to the Pre-Canaanites who used it until about 2,500 BC. It was not practiced by the Egyptians, Jews, Phoenicians or Carthaginians. The Greeks and Romans based their practices according to the way they viewed the after life. Those who believed in a life after death buried their dead with food, pets and even servants to smooth the transition from one form of existence to another. Others who believed that the body decays practiced cremation so that the deceased would have a speedy trip to the afterlife.

At this time, cremation is not allowed by the Orthodox Jews, the Islamic religion, Eastern Orthodox religion and some Fundamental Christian sects.

What cremation is: the body of the deceased is reduced to fragments of bone thru temperatures ranging from 1,500 F to 2,000 F degrees. The actual cremation process takes from two to three hours with the time depending upon the weight of the individual.

There are various services that specialize in scattering the ashes of the deceased. One of these services will scatter the remains amidst a special fireworks display. If the family wishes to engage a luxury Coast Guard certified yacht and Captain that will allow up to 6 loved ones, the fees are FROM $3,500 to scatter the ashes at sea.

Another service will scatter the ashes in the High Sierras. Their fee includes all documentation of the ritual, pictures of the remains and filing all necessary local governmental forms for the sum of $225.00.

In summation, cremation vs. burial is based upon culture as well as upon the attitudes of the individuals responsible for making the final decision for interring their loved one if no specific instructions were provided in a Will.

Everyone knows they are going to die sooner or later. While we all hope it is “later”, we should put our affairs in order for the benefit of our loved ones. Great comfort can be achieved by knowing that advance planning for the inevitable will have eased the trauma of your passing for your family.

All too often, when a family member dies, relatives have no idea where the deceased’s important papers are located. As a result, this creates an additional burden on the grieving loved ones. By putting our affairs in order, we can simplify the necessary responsibilities our family members will be required to handle.

The most important considerations to be addressed for this time are as follows:

• Create a will: Conference with your attorney to draft a list of your final wishes, i.e. burial preferences, asset allocations, etc.
• Create a living will: This instrument will appoint someone of your choice to make decisions regarding life-sustaining medical care in the event of your incapacitation.
• Durable power of attorney: This is given by you to a person of your choice to make medical decisions on your behalf if you are unable to communicate.

Recently, there was a case where a woman had been in a coma for twenty years. She was, of course, unable to communicate. Her husband wanted her to be removed from life support; her parents disagreed and this battle went to the courts. The United States Government even got into the fray. Eventually, the Supreme Court ruled in favor of the husband and the woman was allowed to die. This case brought to the general public the importance of having a living will and power of attorney stating your wishes when you are unable to do so.

• Finances: Debts: This information should be located in a place known to your beneficiaries. List whatever debts your spouse or estate may be responsible for after your death such as property tax, liens, etc.
• Finances: Assets: List all assets for your beneficiaries, such as:

- Life insurance policy or policies
- Pensions
- Ira, Keogh, etc.
- Social Security benefits
- Medical insurance coverage
- Veterans benefits
- Checking and bank accounts
- Certificates of Deposit
- Stocks and bonds
- Real estate holdings
- Miscellaneous investments

Be sure to list any and all assets not covered by the above - including documented personal loans to friends or business associates.

• Applicable personal documents:

- Birth certificate
- Passport
- Social Security information
- Divorce decree
- Military discharge papers
- Naturalization papers
- Adoption papers
- Income tax retFuneral Options for past seven years

• Miscellaneous insurance coverage documents:

- Automobile
- Property
- Accident
- Hospitalization

Information should also be available regarding friends, business associates, organization memberships, financial planner, insurance agents and attorney or attorneys.

• Credit cards:

- Account numbers
- Contact information

Your loved ones should be advised of the location of these documents so they can be readily accessed after your death.