Our Sympathy

Jewish law and tradition have specific requirements for funeral and mourning practices and attach great religious significance to this rite. As soon as a loved one dies, a family member should contact a Rabbi who will assist in the funeral and burial arrangements. Preplanning is highly recommended so that arrangements for a funeral plot have already been made.

Jewish tradition states that the human body is holy, even after death, and retains its sanctity. Consequently, the body should be treated with respect and dignity. Funerals are arranged as simply as possible since the deceased must be buried within twenty-four hours. The only exceptions allowed are if a close family member lives far enough away so that he or she cannot arrive within the proscribed time, if there are legal reasons to delay burial or to avoid burial on Shabbat or other Jewish holy days.

There is no need to spend time shopping for an appropriate casket as the deceased must be buried in a simple pine coffin. The reason for this is so that the body is allowed to return to the earth thru a natural process. Any show of ostentation must be avoided. Dress and deportment of the mourners should reflect the solemness of the occasion.

Flowers and music are considered inappropriate. If family or friends wish to make a donation to a charity in the name of the deceased, this is an acceptable practice. Traditionally, after the funeral, mourners gather at the home of a close family member where food and drink is made available to visitors.

From the moment of death, the deceased is not left alone until after burial. Jewish tradition requires that someone close to the deceased remain with the body until that time. This individual will recite Psalms during the watch. This custom is used to honor the dead.

Jewish tradition does not routinely allow autopsies. If an autopsy is recommended, the family can refuse to grant permission. If required by law, a Rabbi must attend and supervise. Embalming of the body is strictly forbidden unless required by civil law. Cosmetics are not to be used on the deceased.

Organ donation is permissible as it is considered an act of charity. The Rabbi should be consulted in this regard.

Jewish funeral services are traditionally simple and brief and may be held in any one of three locations: at the synagogue, at the funeral home or at the gravesite. Family and friends of the deceased follow the casket as a sign of respect as it is being carried to the gravesite. Family members and close friends drop a handful of earth on the coffin after it is placed in the ground.

After the funeral, the customary period of mourning is called sitting shivah. This tradition is usually followed for a period of seven days. Close relatives of the deceased observe this time of morning in the home of a family member. Visits of respect are paid to the family during this time. Flowers are not given but food is customarily brought so that the family does not have to be concerned with cooking. This period of time allows the family to be removed from daily activities and work thru their grief and loss of their loved one.

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